DATING VIOLENCE

Sexual assualt..why does it happen?

*Male aggressiveness

*Male Machoness

* Alcoholism

Male aggressiveness:

Includes trying to control the relationship. Not letting the female see her family and friends by using threatening words and force. Many females in abusive relationships start to loose their friends. The females try hard to lease their boyfriend, but they are still harshly criticize about unimportant things. When they want to spend time with their friends many females may feel uneasy about it and feel that they need permission to because the male claims if she is away from him how can he keep his eye on her. Therefore, this can lead to many stalkings by the male. The male may become overtly jealous of the female talking to other males and she is only aloud to engage with conversations with females. He may feel that in order to have a good time he must be present with her. Males may become overly protrusive and restrict the females from certain activities such as swimming, attending dinners, and going to the mall. Swimming is a problem because the male may feel threatened that the female is exposing skin no matter how much the female says she loves her. Attending dinners is a problem because the male feels that the female is too nicely dressed up and other male guests will enjoy her beauty. He claims, " Who are you trying to impress; am I not good enough for you?" Going to the mall is a place where many women are eyed at by young males and is a big social unit.

Case Study: Ivana and Bruce

Ivana and Bruce met during high school and after couple dates they fell madly in love and began to talk about marriage. Ivana was proud to have Bruce as her partner, but Bruce regardless, would get moody and jealous. He voiced numerous suspicions of wheter Ivana was lying to him. Eventually he began to stalk Ivana. He would also accuse her of being insensitive to his feelings. After thinking that he was right she would be extremely careful in how she treated him. He didn't seem to be relaxed and complained that her friends had took up all her time. She grew apart with her friends. He would constantly call her several times a day just to check up on her. One day when he picked Ivana up on a date he was mad because he claimed her skirt was too tight and the she was trying to show off her body to other guys. He also forbided her to go on a vacation to Tahiti because they were going to go swimming and wearing a bathing suit only exposed her skin even more. He went ballistic when he saw the family vacation photos of her in a bikini he went ballistic tearing her photo album and shaking and screaming at her. When they went on another date he promised to adjust his behavior. The date was fine until the end of the day when they drove to the beach. He began to be violent and claimed that Ivana never loved him. Although Ivana was upset she tried to think of everything she could to calm Bruce down. But it didn't do her any good because his anger was too much. He grabbed Ivana by the throat and began to slap her and choke her. He eventually ripped of her clothes and rapped her and pushed her out of his car and left her sobbing alone at the beach.

Male Machoness: The belief that males are superior than females because they are stronger and "smarter". Women are second class citizens. They call all the shots and women should respect their authority. These males are very unfair and unreasonable and are stuck on the belief that the female is here to serve the male and when she acts up she should be put in her place. These males tend to be violent, aggressive, and ruthless and show no respect for their partner. They see women as objects and a being without a brain. Females in this relationship are focused on the idea that love conquers all and that this behavior will change over time and is only temporary.

Case study: Claudia and Roberto

Claudia met Roberto when she was in junior high school. All she wanted was a boyfriend who loved her and made her feel special. One problem they had was that they flighted like dogs and cats on everything- what movie to see, what to eat, what to do for fun, and whether to go out. But Claudia thought that it was normal because every couple fights, she presumed. As they sat in the car one night Claudia accused Roberto of flirting with an old girlfriend and Roberto slapped Claudia. Claudia slapped him back. Over time this violence got worse and once she had a black eye and couple bruises. The violence escalated over time. Roberto made Claudia give up her participation on the debate team and she eventually stopped hanging out with her friends. He claimed that her nagging was what caused so many fights, so she did her best to please him and thought that the quarrels would stop. She was wrong. Prom was quickly approaching and she was ecstatic she thought that she could finish high school and finally get married to Roberto. At prom the two had gotten into a quarrel as usual, but it only got worse when Roberto's friends had teased him because they claimed he couldn't keep his "woman in line." At this he began to feel humiliated and eventually kicked and punched Claudia over and over again. He left her in the parking lot bleeding and unconscious. When she went to the doctor it was said that she might loose vision in one of her eyes. After all that happen she was still worried that she would never see Roberto again and she thought her life would be over.

Alcoholism: Males tendency to get overly drunk and sexually assault a woman. Or the woman is completely intoxicated while the male is sober and he takes advantage of her. She is pressured to drink because she wants to please her date. These woman are often college freshmen who get drink and ken advantage of at Fraternities because there is no one to supervise them and tell them that what they are doing is wrong.

Case study: Mary and Her Frat Bash

Mary a freshman at Florida State University had been drinking tequila before attending a frat party. Her boyfriend, Daniel Oltarsh a junior, age 23, and a brother of Pi Kappa Alpha was her date. He gave her wine and left her in his room. Later he returned and forced Mary to have sex with her. Then he brang her to a Frat Bathroom and put her in a shower room where two other frat boys had raped her. She was then dumped into another hallway where a second frat house where they initialed their symbols. As news of these assaults broke out Mary begin to blame herself of the victimization. She tried to change her physical appearance so she wouldn't be recognized but, it didn't help. She couldn't cope with this stress anymore and she checked into a psychiatric clinic for depression, bulimia, and alcoholism.