The Last Blog

This will be my official last blog. Creating these blogs has been fun. But unfortunately all good things, must come to an end. In the end nothing endures. This thought has got me thinking..how many people actually do end up with what they want in life? That is to say, what we want now may not be what we want in the end. Can we still be happy even though we may not of got what we hoped for? This is my question. How does one find true happiness? Is it by ending up with the one they love, by helping people in the most need, by pursuing a career they always wanted, or simply by being with their friends and families. I think most of us want it all. Everyone wants to end up with the one they love, give charity to those in need, be with their friends and family, and become what they've always wanted to be and what they went to college for. Our only obstacle is FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of loosing that person, fear of not becoming anything, fear of pain.

So what is it that keeps us alive? Our Dreams. As long as we keep chasing those dreams we are still alive. We live our life only hoping for things to come out the way we want. Some are lucky enough to live that dream, while others aren't so lucky. For the ones that do not end up with the outcome they had dreamed for many of them wonder was it better to have lived through it, or to not experience it at all. Because for that part of their life they were happy. Was it better to have lived that happiness or not? It all depends on the way one looks at it. For some, yes it was worth it. Because in the end life is all about memories. We are alive when we are remembered.

Those who never gave up on their dreams and chased them long enough had the luxury to live their dream. whether it be to be with the one they love, to be with friends and family, to pursue a top paying career, or to make a mark in history. They will live their life they way they want. But, they can not control natural disasters. In end, they share the same fate as those who do not live their dream. They will loose the one they love, their friends, their career won't matter anymore, and so on. Life goes by so fast and before you know it, you'll be buying life insurance. In the end, your life was all a memory. Was it better to have made that memory or not? Of course it was because that it what life is about. If these people never chased their dream they would have never known what was in store for them. For those that gave up on their dream, find another one. Life is too short, so make the best of it. Life is beautiful, but beauty never lasts.

Vampires

I was watching the Tira show and apparently there are people that claim they are vampires. There are different types of vampires, those that drink blood of animals, of humans, read minds= psyc vampire, and I can't remeber the rest. Tyra interviewed a ton of “real life vampires” about their blood drinking lifestyle. Most of the guests were your garden variety Dracula wannabes, but the one that stood out was Sarah, who says she doesn’t crave blood because it’s “cliche and rudimentary.” She says she was born a vampire, but doesn’t like to hang out with other vampires and would rather spend her time with “other sorts.” She also says she is psychic, can go days without eating and just feeds off other peoples’ “energy”, thinks sex is gross, prefers hardcore hip-hop like Too Short to The Cure, and enjoys watching “America’s Next Top Model. When Tyra asked what the audience thought about her. She said in their minds' they think I am crazy. She also added that a women who gave her trouble, later commited suicide after she had crosssed the line the previous day before her death. That's scary!!

The "vampire" that most impressed me was a man who claimed he was a hybrid. This means that he feeds off blood and psycic energy. What he does is take somone's blood through a seringe or lancet. He then puts the blood to a glass. He also sleeps in a coffin. He calls it a sensory deformation chamber. He saids through purification clenses birth marks are also gone. Furthermore, in order to test wether he was a vampire, his doctor ran a blood test but the results were inconclusive. He has no body fat and he was able to bench press 475 pounds with his legs on the Tyra show. It was CRAZZZY!!!! How was he able to bench that much, does drinking human blood make one stronger? He did not show any sign of struggle. Also Tyra had him do a smell test. He said he had a sensitive smell than the average human. He was able to tell the difference from each smell. A normal human could not smell something unless it was put in front of their nose. When asked about race, the man replied that there is a racial inequality because of the stereotypical images from the media. He said he has a lot of "brothers" ( his fellow vampires) that are of all races.

One of the vampires lit a boy on fire as a cermony. These vampires also seem to be ponoythesitic. Sarah mentioned something about the "gods." I don't know if they could be making this stuff up but, it seems likely. I don't think that they are actually vampires. They just choose to drink blood and live that life style. But, then again how is it that they are able to stay alive and STRONG on blood? They do not eat, or do they? There are some crazy things and vampirism is popular these days. Especially because of Twilight and True Blood. Teenage girls are in love with Vampires and it seems over rated because more and more vampire novels are arising. As for these people who drink blood, I don't think they are doing this over some fad.

Intimate Partner Violence

Its interesting to see the dynamics of when a partner does not want to communicate, is closed off in a sense, and the risk factors for when IPV will occur. "---> that is an interesting comment.

When one chooses to not commicate the other person resorts to violence, which is just how IPV occurs. The first thing that happens is emotional IPV where the person threatens the other or his her possessions or loved ones or threatening the person's self worth. Examples of this is name calling, stalking, intimidation, and not letting the person see their friends or family. The two become frusterated and end up lashing out at each other. Usually most couples yell at each other and that's a signal for domestic violence to occur. yelling at each other leads to more stress and one act such as pinching leads to shoving, kicking and screaming. The more tense the relationship is, the harder it is to come down. Often when Domestic violence does occur people loose control of their emotions, become irational and lash out on one another. It is very important to keep one's hands to his or herself, especially when the two people are fighting. People who querrel in arguments all the time and have anger issues need anger management because those are the people that usually cause Intimate Partner Violence. IPv is most likely to occur behind close doors. Ipv is hazzardous because it makes people smoke, abuse alcohol, and engage in risky sexual activity.

As I have learned in other courses about studies done on family violence the victim of abuse tend to weigh the cost of leaving higher than the rewards of leaving the abuser. As Aram said be it cause of children, financial reason, fear of reprocusion after leaving, fear of being alone. The victim of the abuse tends to take the abuse so that they dont have to start over in their lives and create a new status for themselves in a community that they dont know because they let their abuser run their lives for so many years.

I agree with the fact that victims tend to stay with the abuser because they have a fear of being alone. It is the same feeling of vurnability that makes it hard to start over for many victims. They feel that they have spent so many years with the victim that they should stay with them and keep giving them chances to improve. It is like chris brown and rihanna, you could say. Somtimes victims are financially dependent on the abuser which is why they can't get away from them. Once they leave they feel that no one is there to support them. It's really sad because sometimes family members of the victims know about it and they don't interfer cause they feel it would cause to many problems. They feel that they should not intrude on someone's marrige where domestic violence is very common in regions like india. Often girls are victimized and cannot leave the marriage cause they were married off at a young age and have no where else to run to for support. Its an outrage for me. Once the girls in India are married their families completely let the husband deal with their own family member. I don't understand how some people could sit there and know about domestic violence and decide to not step in. I find that strangers who don;t know the people will report the crime vs. people who know the victim. For example, when a couple was fighting in the boyfriends apartment, I was about to report it until somone beat me to it. I saw an old women talking to them and saying she was going to call the cops. I heard them fighting because I live underneath them.

Parental Control of Sex n Violence

Entertainment will never change because that's what sells. People want to see things that have no educational value what so ever. Sex and violence. that’s all that it is. America is known for having the most sexual images in their movies. Almost every action packed movie has some sexual scene in it and violence is necessary because the story would not progress without violence.. without the conflict of violence there is no ACTION. So, sex and violence = action. Even movies like independence day, Gone in 60 seconds, and Pearl Harbor have violience and sex. Animated shows also have violence within them that are directed at kids. Look at Dragon Ball Z and video games such as mortal kombat, street fighter, and killer instinct. Even though these games and shows are rated M. The audience is of course little kids. Shows and games like these make violence appealing. Disney movies have violence in them... What about the part when Gueston stabs the Beast, Aladin Stabs Jaffar the snake, or when the Native Americans and Europeans fight in a battle and Pocahantus's kokum is shot. So you see, violence surrounds everyone, including kids. Even if these Disney characters do not engage in anything sexual, the characters themselves show some sex appeal. Why does Aladin have to have a six pack, why is jasmine so skinny, petite and wears revealing clothes. There is even a scene where she seduces Jafar. Tinker Bell’s skirt is so short, revealing her legs, and possibly her buttocks if she were real. She is always bending over and pointing her wand. This is a form of sex appeal she has. When people look at her they think she is cute, but if you were to ask many teenage males how they see her they would say she is sexy. Ariel is the most revealing character and she flaunts her figure well. Why are these characters so attractive, well because little girls are suppose to admire them and these characters are also made into dolls. A girls doll is not the form a child, but an adult women with a full figure.

Furthermore, I feel like if parents block out the channels that contain violence, then they would just block the most popular shows. Animated cartoons have a lot of violence in them. There will always be violence in super hero cartoons like batman, spider man, and super man because they all hit, punch, kick, and throw the bad guys. So we can't just block everything that has violence. There has to be some standard to the severity of the violence that is blocked. I think shows that have a little violence in them like those super hero shows are okay. Blocking the right channels depends on what kind of violence is shown. Violence from movies like gladiator and tripple x or games like mortal kombat, grand theft auto, and killer instinct should obviously not be available for children's play. Those games are not even for children. But violence from Drangon ball Z and Power rangers, or super man etc. can be shown. So, no matter what all violence can not be completely blocked out. The only non violent shows are shows that are for pre-schoolers and toddlers and kindergarteners. But what about those kids who are 7-10? The 7-10 year olds are not going to watch PBS kids and Nick Jr. They are going to watch Dragon Ball Z and Power Rangers, or X men.

Taking Care of The Elderly

Taking care of elderly is hard even if they arn't sick. My grandma is illiterate. She cannot even tell time. She also travels from house to house staying with her kids for three months. It's sad because she gets disrespected by her kids because she does a lot of things she isn't suppose to do. She acts like a kid. She always gets yelled at and things like that for touching things and then not putting it in the right place. I try my best to keep her happy. I bring her meals and somtimes entertain her by setting up the television so she can watch a religious movie and talk to her somtimes. In the film this was common. When the elderly are old it's like they are a child, so fragil and needy and gentle. Another common problem was how adutls did not want to take care of their elderly parents. Thats a very big problem in my family, sadly they fight about the amount of time she has been at their house and agrue about who's turn it is to keep her. This make me think about how my own parents expect their kids to take care of them. They are bad role models because they don't even want to take care of their own parents! of course, I have my own opinion and in the end I think I will be the only one who really cares for them. My siblings do not tend to my grandma's needs and often send me to help her. The film is right when it mentioned that there is always that one family member who ends up taking that responsiblity to take care of their parents and they often do it alone.

I think that in order to solve the problem that of elderly it is important to see how we can take care of our health now to prevent many of the problems we will experience if we get old and ignore the problem now. Osteporosis, diabetes, arthritus, thyroid, andso on can all be prevented just by keeping a good diet. According to CDC, "Proper elderly nutrition and eating habits are crucial to maintain quality of life: control blood sugar levels to avoid diabetes, maintain good vision, a positive mood, good sleep, better eyesight, energy, bone and muscle strength, digestion, good elimination, etc. Some are severely affected with poor diet, causing sometimes serious elderly nutrition problems. " We also are going to have more elderly people in the future because we are living longer these days. CDC also adds that " Elderly nutrition problems are an important concern for health officials -- the Centers for Disease Control estimate that by 2030 the U.S. population will double, to about 71 million older adults. That is about one in every five people. We are, as they say, on the "brink of a longevity revolution." It is crucial that we focus on a healthy lifestyle, and nutrition tops the list. " This also means there will need to be more efforts to ensure that the needs are met for all the elderly people. and it will not work out in the future if it is not working out now. Not even enough is done now for the elderly, so how can we expect anything to be done in the future to meet the needs of double the elderly population in the future. Thus, we should take care of our health now, so we can reduce our health issue in the future. One of the main reasons my grandma can still take care of herself is because she is not ill. She was physically active as a farmer while she was young and it payed off. Stay active and eat right now so that we can prevent some disease, but if its genetic nothing can be done.

DV: EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL ASSAULT

Along with sexual abuse, many victims like Mary suffer from the after effects of sexual abuse through emotional abuse. Thus, dating violence can also be expanded to include emotional abuse. According to CDC (2002), emotional abuse is a means of “threatening or harming one’s self worth.” Emotional abuse occurs as an impact from the cycle of dating violence. The cycle of dating violence features a repetition of phases such as the honey moon phase, the tension building stage, and the blow up stage. The victim is stuck in this cycle of tension building and finally abuse because the perpetrator often comes back and apologizes for what he has done through gifts, a temporary change in behavior, and false promises that deceive the victim in believing that the perpetrator will change no matter how many times the victim has undergone many episodes violence and confrontation.

Take for example, the case study of Ivana and Bruce and their cycle of DV. Ivana and Bruce met during high school and after couple dates they fell madly in love and began to talk about marriage. Ivana was proud to have Bruce as her partner, but Bruce regardless, would get moody and jealous. He voiced numerous suspicions of whether Ivana was lying to him. Eventually he began to stalk Ivana. He would also accuse her of being insensitive to his feelings. After thinking that he was right she would be extremely careful in how she treated him. He didn't seem to be relaxed and complained that her friends had taken up all her time. She grew apart with her friends. He would constantly call her several times a day just to check up on her. One day when he picked Ivana up on a date he was mad because he claimed her skirt was too tight and the she was trying to show off her body to other guys. He also for bided her to go on a vacation to Tahiti because they were going to go swimming and wearing a bathing suit only exposed her skin even more. He went ballistic when he saw the family vacation photos of her in a bikini he went ballistic tearing her photo album and shaking and screaming at her. Ivana stopped seeing him for a while, until Bruce returned and apologized for what he had done. He told Ivana that he was wrong to do what he did and he wanted her back. Ivana loved Bruce and really wanted to give him another chance. When they went on another date he promised to adjust his behavior. Despite Bruce’s small gestures of moodiness, the date was fine until the end of the day when they drove to the beach. His mood changed from bitterness to anger. He began to be violent and claimed that Ivana never loved him. Although Ivana was upset, she tried to think of everything she could to calm Bruce down. But it did not do her any good because his anger was too much. He grabbed Ivana by the throat and began to slap her and choke her. He eventually ripped off her clothes and raped her and pushed her out of his car and left her sobbing alone at the beach. (Barnett, Perrin & Perrin, 2005).

Note how Bruce wanted to control Ivana even though she always felt the need to please him and in the end he made her feel degraded, humiliated, and shamed. This case story contained all three levels of dating violence. Bruce constantly criticized Ivana, isolated her from her friends, and made her feel guilty, which constitutes as emotional abuse. Bruce was also moody and his jealousy had caused him to use verbal aggression to get ivana to listen to him. When verbal aggression didn’t work he eventually lashed out on her. Before committing sexual assault he had to use physical violence in order to complete his rape. Many victims who have been raped when they or the perpetrator were not in possession of alcohol , undergo physical violence because it is harder to rape women who are sober since they fight back and hit the perpetrator. Physical violence is known as an act that results in bodily injury. For the purpose of this paper, physical violence does not need to be professionally defined because that is the only form of dating violence that is not omitted from the definition of dating violence. Emotional abuse and sexual abuse are not always included in the definition of dating violence; therefore they must be defined to fit into the concept of DV. Victims who undergo dating violence most likely encounter emotional abuse in their relationship. It is not uncommon for victims to believe that violence in relationships is appropriate and many victims continue to date their abuser regardless of how many times they have been physically hit.

Take for example, Claudia and Roberto. Claudia met Roberto when she was in junior high school. All she wanted was a boyfriend who loved her and made her feel special. One problem they had was that they fought like dogs and cats on everything- what movie to see, what to eat, what to do for fun, and whether to go out. But Claudia thought that it was normal because every couple fights, she presumed. As they sat in the car one night Claudia accused Roberto of flirting with an old girlfriend and Roberto slapped Claudia. Claudia slapped him back. Over time this violence got worse and once she had a black eye and couple bruises. The violence escalated over time. Roberto made Claudia give up her participation on the debate team and she eventually stopped hanging out with her friends. He claimed that her nagging was what caused so many fights, so she did her best to please him and thought that the quarrels would stop. She was wrong. Prom was quickly approaching and she was ecstatic she thought that she could finish high school and finally get married to Roberto. At prom the two had gotten into a quarrel as usual, but it only got worse when Roberto's friends had teased him because they claimed he could not keep his "woman in line." At this he began to feel humiliated and eventually kicked and punched Claudia over and over again. He left her in the parking lot bleeding and unconscious. When she went to the doctor it was said that she might lose vision in one of her eyes. After all that happen she was still worried that she would never see Roberto again and she thought her life would be over (Barnett, Perrin & Perrin, 2005).

This case illustrates that the belief that love conquers all is one of the reasons why many victims willing decide to stay with their abuser. The victim desperately wishes for change to the point where she decides to stay with the abuser until change has become a reality. There is no telling what Claudia would have undergone until she finally realized that her relationship with Roberto was not love.

Defining dating violence: SEXUAL ASSAULT

Defining Dating Violence and its forms: Sexual

As I mentioned earlier, The definition of dating violence is important because it must be broad enough to include all forms of dating violence such as sexual, physical, and emotional in order to accurately measure dating violence and its frequency. Sugarman & Hotling (1989) briefly define dating violence as “the perpetration of physical, emotional, or threat abuse by at least one member of an unmarried dating couple.” Notice that this definition does not include the term sexual abuse. Sexual abuse was excluded as its own separate category and until recently it was defined as a form of dating violence because many couples are sexually active or become sexually active by fore, which in turn becomes sexual assault. CDC, Center for Disease Control and Prevention (2002) defines sexual assault specifically as:

“An act completed against the victim’s will or when a victim is unable to consent due to
age illness, disability, or the influence of alcohol or other drugs. It may involve actual or
threatened physical force, use of guns or other weapons, coercion, intimidation, or pressure.
Sexual Violence also includes intentional touching of the genitals, anus, and groin, or
breast, against a victim will or when the victim is unable to consent, as well as voyeurism,
exposure to exhibitionism or undesired exposure to pornography. The perpetrator of
sexual violence may be a friend, family member, stranger, or intimate partner.”

Sexual assault in this case is defined in very specific terms and includes a variety of examples. This will help to ensure accurate measurement and higher frequency of sexual abuse. Sexual assault does not necessarily have to mean penetration in this definition. In fact, many couples are sexually assaulted simply through touch such as pining their arms down, grabbing sensitive or sexual parts of the body, and undressing without consent. Basically, if one is touched in an unwanted sexual manner, it is determined as sexual assault.

In order to describe sexual assault take for example, the case study of Mary and Her Frat Bash. Mary a freshman at Florida State University had been drinking tequila before attending a frat party. Her boyfriend, Daniel Oltarsh a junior, age 23, and a brother of Pi Kappa Alpha was her date. He gave her wine and left her in his room. Later he returned and forced Mary to have sex with her. Then he brought her to a frat bathroom and put her in a shower room where two other frat boys had raped her. They used a toothpaste tube as a means of penetration. She was then dumped into another hallway where a second frat house initialed their symbols. As news of these assaults broke out Mary begin to blame herself of the victimization. She tried to change her physical appearance so she wouldn't be recognized but, it did not help. She couldn't cope with this stress anymore and she checked into a psychiatric clinic for depression, bulimia, and alcoholism (Barnett, Perrin & Perrin, 2005).

Dating violence

Dating violence can occur most commonly among adolescence and college years and can range from physical violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse. During adolescence forming a relationship is a key component in an adolescent’s developmental process and being single is considered an issue among males and females. The idea of being single makes students believe that the girl must be prude or the guy must not have any “game.” Because many adolescents are still changing and growing they are developmentally immature and therefore, easily influenced. The term developmentally immature refers to an adolescent’s inability to make rational decisions due to the fact that they have not reached the full capacity of adult decision making skills. Some relationships that adolescents engage in become abusive and they do not realize this because they lack experience in relationships. Because there are many forms of dating violence, college students are also included in the statistics for dating violence. Many college students are sexually assaulted because of the common place to drink in college.

Dating violence most commonly occurs with females, but studies suggest that males may also be victimized physically and emotionally. However, males injure females more severely and frequently and this may continue and eventually lead to death. Therefore, there is a need for prevention programs to educate the youth about dating violence so that dating violence can be prevented and reduced if has already occurred. In order to make dating violence prevention programs more effective, dating violence must be clearly defined, the frequency must be reviewed to accommodate the many people in need of aid, the different forms of dating violence: physical, sexual and emotional must be studied, how the problem effects the individual and well being of the community must be analyzed, and the risk factors of dating violence and its forms must be explored.

The reason why dating violence must be clearly identified is because the definition of dating violence often excludes some forms of abuse and that in turn affects the frequency of dating violence. For instance, the more forms of dating violence that included in the definition, i.e sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, the higher the frequency is increased. Reasons why prevalence rates vary so significantly have to do with the lack of standardized definitions used to assess dating violence. Some researchers include psychological and emotional abuse in their definition while others are more restrictive and only include physically violent acts. Furthermore, sexual violence is often excluded from definitions. All forms of dating violence must be included because that increases awareness of the problem. Awareness of all forms of dating violence also ensures better prevention programs because victims who suffer from physical abuse may also suffer from sexual abuse and those that undergo emotional abuse encountered sexual abuse. The risk factors of dating violence, of course are the main things prevention programs look for in order to prevent the abuse from happening. If the abuse has already occurred than it is also equally important to look at the impacts of dating violence to help those who have encountered abuse to the road to recovery. Overall, prevention programs are necessary because adolescents who victimize others will continue to victimize in adult hood. Thus, there is a need for these prevention programs, Safe Dates and Expect Respect, to educate the public.

Prevention Programs of Dating Violence (continued)

my second dating violence prevention program is a program entittled "Expect Respect."

B. Prevention program Y
1. Introduce program Y
The Expect Respect program is based on the ideology that bullying and sexual harassment behaviors condition students to accept mistreatment in their peer relationships, laying the foundation for abuse in future dating relationships. The program is designed to raise awareness of dating violence, teach skills for healthy relationships, to develop youth leadership and increase respect and safety on campus. This is established by changing pre dating attitudes and behaviors. The program was formally known as Teen Dating Violence Program and was born through a local high school’s request in Austin, Texas for specialized counseling for girls who have undergone abusive relationships. Two councilors began to use the materials they encountered from their experience working with battered women. The program eventually became famous and expanded to five schools. With the abundant amount of positive feedback, the program became known by National Resource Center on Domestic Violence.

2. Risk factors that program y focus on
The risk factors the program focuses on are supporting youth from healing from past abuse, raising their expectations for equality and respect, increasing awareness of sexual assault and dating violence, and increasing their confidence in taking action to prevent abuse and harassment.

3. Components
. The program is broken into four parts as follows:
I. Counseling and Support Groups.
Counseling and support groups are provided for students in grades K-12 who have experienced sexual, dating, or domestic violence or who are in an abusive relationship. In part one, students are introduced to dating violence through a summary of research and presented with prevention strategies.

II. Classroom Presentations.
Three class room presentations are provided for grades 6-12. These topics include dating violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and healthy relationships. These presentations are for students who have undergone violence in their homes and dating relationships. Support groups help students heal from past abuse, help students acquire the skills needed for a healthy relationship, and help them prevent future victimization and perpetration.

III. The Summer Teen Leadership Program.
Through an eight week internship, teen leaders are trained on issues of social justice and violence prevention to provide workshops on bullying prevention for children at summer care sites in Austin.


IV. Training for School Personnel.

Educators are trained in order to address school-wide strategies for preventing bullying, sexual harassment, and gender violence. Parent sessions are also provided.

4. Intended audience
The audience is a mixture of groups consisting of adults who are training to be professional educators in counseling young kids, high school students who participate in a paid internship during a summer teen leadership program, elementary school children who have experienced domestic violence , bullying, and teasing, and junior high school students who have undergone domestic violence, sexual violence, teasing, bullying, and are in abusive relationships. Middle school and junior high school students are the main participators of the program. Many of the presentations and support groups are directed towards them because these are the groups that undergo bullying and teasing.

5. Methods-presentations, interactive experiences, media etc. and length
For elementary students, the educator presents a 12 session curriculum that features many activities such as class discussions, role plays, games, and creative writing exercises. The program focuses on assisting elementary school children in distinguishing between teasing and bullying and discovering how teasing and bullying link to sexual harassment. For Junior high school students, a two session classroom presentation is prepared to engage students in activities and discussions with peers on the topics of sexual harassment, dating violence, and sexual assault. Theater performances and workshops are also provided, along with weekly educational support groups that experienced sexual and family violence. Student driven and school wide activities promote awareness of violence and its prevention by holding poster contests, bulletin board displays and performances by older and younger students.

6. ( if applicable) program evaluation and effectiveness
Rosenbluth (2001) collected consumer satisfaction data on the 3-session high school program: 80% of students rated the program as helpful in learning about healthy relationships; 81% would recommend it to friends. The activities rated by students as ‘excellent’ or ‘good’ included: speakers (73%), video (50%) and discussion (64%). Some male students commented that "guys seemed to be blamed for everything".
Rosenbluth, B. (December 2001). Data from a high school program for November-December 2001. Austin, TX: Safe Place.

Prevention Programs

A. Prevention program X

1. Introduce Program X
Safe Dates is a school based program designed to prevent psychological, sexual, and emotional abuse on dates or between teenagers involved in a dating relationship. This is done by raising awareness of what constitutes a healthy dating relationship verses an abusive relationship, raising awareness of dating abuse and its causes and consequences, equipping students with the skills and resources they need to save themselves and those in need from an abusive relationship, and by helping teens develop healthy dating relationships through positive communication, anger management, and conflict resolution.

2. Risk factors that program x focuses on
The risk factors the program focuses on are changing norms for dating violence, gender stereotyping, conflict management skills, awareness of the resources available and knowledge about how to get help. The main goal of the program is to change adolescent dating violence and gender role norms, improve conflict resolution skills, initiate help seeking behavior for community resources in both perpetrators and victims of abusive relationships, and improve the skills needed to help those in need of aid from an abusive relationship. The program also features substance abuse due to the fact that it often correlates with high amounts of violence.

3. components
The program is composed of nine 50 minute sessions, a 45 minute theatrical play and a poster contest. The nine 50 minute sessions are composed as follows:
Session 1: Defining Caring Relationships
Students are introduced to Safe Dates by playing a bingo game and taking part in a class discussion about how they would like to be treated in a dating relationship.
Session 2: Defining Dating Abuse
Students clearly define what dating abuse is by reviewing statistics and discussing scenarios.
Session 3: Why Do People Abuse?
Students take part in small and large group discussions and review scenarios to help them identify the causes and consequences of dating abuse.
Session 4: How to Help Friends
Students are introduced to “Friend’s Wheel,” take part in a decision-making exercise, and read a dramatic piece to learn why it is difficult for victims of abuse to leave an abusive relationships and what they can do to help their friends and acquaintances if he or she is in an abusive relationship.
Session 5: Helping Friends
Students perform a skit and are introduced to stories to help them practice effective skills for helping their friends who are victims of abuse or confronting those who are perpetrators of abuse.
Session 6: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes
Students complete a writing exercise, take part in small group discussions, view scenarios, and learn about how gender stereotypes can affect dating relationships and how to avoid using it.
Session 7: Equal Power through Communication
Students are taught eight skills for effective communication and these skills are put to practice through role plays and skits.
Session 8: How We Feel, How We Deal
Students pursue a diary, discuss a piece entitled “ hot buttons,” and learn effective ways to recognize and handle their behavior in order to prevent it from leading into abusive behavior that many couples struggle with.
Session 9: Preventing Sexual Assault
Students take a quiz, participate in a caucus, discuss with a panel of their peers and learn about the issue of sexual assault and discuss the measures necessary for prevention.

Theatrical Play
The play is entitled “There Is No Excuse For Dating Abuse,” and is 45 minutes in length. The play is not performed by professionals, but by high school drama students. Small group discussions are lead by the actors about the statistics that are presented on dating abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse, following the performance of the play. Family members are also engaged in the program through parent letters and brochures.

Poster Contest
A poster contest is held at the end of the program to help students reinforce the concepts they learned from the program and also to help them educate others in the knowledge they have gained about dating violence. This part of the program is mandatory and students have the option of using these posters in a feature presentation for community groups or various schools. The posters are created and hung in school hallways and community buildings such as libraries, malls, and city halls.

4. Intended audience
The program is intended for middle school and high school students ages 12-18. Both males and females participate in this program and there was proven effectiveness for students of African American and Caucasian decent. The program can be initiated through a councilor as part of a counseling or educational program in school or for faith based communities and after school programs or community youth enrichment organizations such as “YMCA” and “Girl Scouts.” Even more effective is using the program for people who have already committed dating violence or undergone dating violence. These places would include domestic violence crisis
centers, juvenile diversion programs, and victim support group centers.

5. Methods- presentations, interactive experiences, media, etc. and length
The methods used in this program included presentations such as statistics, scenarios, and role playing, interactive experiences such as large and small group discussions, panel of peers, games, decision making exercises, the use of media through a theatrical play about dating violence that is performed by high school drama students, and academic exercises such as a diary, readings, and a writing exercise. The interactive experiences, academic exercises, and presentations are methods that are featured in the nine 50 minute sessions and the presentation of statistics and interactive experiences of large group discussions are a part of the 45 minute theatrical performance.

6. ( if applicable) Program evaluation and effectiveness
There is evidence that the program is effective because Safe Dates is researched based program. The program was effective in preventing and reducing perpetration among adolescents that were engaging in violence with their dates. Adolescents who participated in the program also reported less acceptance of dating violence, stronger communication and anger management skills, less of a tendency to gender stereotype, and had a greater awareness of the resources available for them from community services, compared to those who did not participate in the program. Students also reported a 56% to 92% reduction in reports of physical, serious physical and sexual dating violence victimization and perpetration after a four year follow up.

;'( Sad & Blue

How do you recover from something so devastating? and why is it that I feel that something like this is devastating? People go through break ups all the time and it's normal. How do you get back on track? Something like this certainly does interfere with school. As hard as I try to focus, I just can't do it. I feel so hurt and so alone. Talking about it doesn't help either. Sometimes I feel like it would of been better if I Never met the person or fell in love at all.

It is really tough to adjust to this feeling especially when you use to spend all your time together. I don't think that it was healthy and because of that I don't know how to be alone anymore. In the beginning I wanted to spend time alone and not always be with someone. I always complained how I wouldn't get to see my friends. you know that saying it's better to of loved then to not loved at all? I disagree. I think I was better off alone. I never did get my wish to spend time with family, friends, and a bf. It was always one or the other and to make it worse my family didn't like who I was with. So I was always unhappy about that.

This feeling even haunts me in my dreams. I feel like every time I close my eyes I see flashbacks of memories and a fake version of him that didn't exist. An imaginary personality he had where he wouldn't complain about anything and we just got along. He was very noble, honest, and gentle. He made me feel happy and good about myself. But in reality he was always getting mad over little things like the fact that I am so feminist. Why is feminism seen as wrong? I just feel like men are physically stronger and they use that power to take advantage of women. I just want it to be equal and no supremacy of females over males. This means that females shouldn't take advantage of the fact that it's seen as okay to SLAP a man across the face; just like we see in movies.

I've seen many relationships like mine. Relationships where the woman goes everywhere with her boyfriend and his friends, but it's never the other way around. This way he gets to see his friends and be with his girlfriends the same time.

I feel like this pain I feel is my own fault. I was too forgiving and let my emotions get in the way. That is something I know a lot of women do. It's like a kind of motherly quality. Mothers are always forgiving and when we think of a parent we think of mom and rarely about dad. I feel like mothers are more emotional than fathers and that's why they are so ready to easily forgive.

I feel like there is too much that time can't erase. I was always there for him and now there is no one here for me. I can't go to my parents because they do not approve of dating it's not a loud and my siblings never liked him anyway. The reason they didn't like him was because I changed a lot when I was with him. I don't drink anymore, but that was my choice and I'd wish people see that. I wasn't influenced by him I was just informed. I have a really good reason not to drink I was sexually assaulted when I did drink and I don't think it was my fault it was just that alcohol made it harder for me to fight.

I never reported many of these assaults because I always felt like it was my fault I could have prevented it and it's too humiliating to tell someone what I went through it. Because of these assault my relationship was very unstable because I had a hard time trusting men. It feels really bad because I eventually did end up trusting him and it only brought sorrow. So my question is how do you recover? Sometimes women don't. and that's what scares me...

What Men Look For In Women

Today's blog will discuss my personal opinion in what men look for when seeking women. The things listed are my own personal belief and I will compare my list to what research actually says men look for.

1. She does things to show that she cares. This means little gestures such as gifts, compliments, support when he feels down, running errands, and simply talking to him about his feelings and needs. Giving gifts shows appreciation for the person and making gifts really shows that she is in to him. Complimenting a man shows that a women is impressed with him and it makes him feel secure. Talking about one's feelings and needs is an important aspect in a relationship. The point of being in a relationship is not just to be with someone, but to care for someone. If people only wanted to see someone it wouldn't be a relationship it would be just dating. It is important to support someone when they are going through tough times to show that one cares for the person they are with and it isn't just about dating. Running errands can suggest that the person is worth doing work for. People just don't run errands for anyone unless they get something in return.

2. She has a life of her own. This means that he doesn't always have to spend every waking moment with her and that she can take care of her own personal tasks and find time to spend with her family and friends. spending too much time together and not apart can be a bad thing and lead to dependency. It is nice to know that she doesn't have to be taken care of and he has nothing to worry about. Her whole life should not be her boyfriend. She should be able to have time to herself and that also leads time for him to be alone. In other words she is not waiting for a man so she can get her real life started.

3. She is honest and doesn't lie. Many couples have an issue with trust. Men might feel overly insecure if she is always lying to them and that can lead to stalking. He might feel the need to check up on her to see if she could be trusted. Lying always leads to violence as well. It's important to be with someone who can tell the truth and be honest no matter how difficult that may be. A healthy relationships is one that is honest and open without any secrets. That doesn't neccessarily mean that he wants to know everything, but you shouldn't have to hide anything from him because that only makes it seem like a woman is uncomfortable with him.

4. She is decent. This means that she can be attractive, but not too promiscuous. Dressing in tight, revealing clothes may make some men feel uneasy about bringing their girl friends near their guy friends. No guy wants his girlfriend checkout by other men.

5. She cooks. A lot of men do not cook and food is an important thing in their life. Some men get really angry when they do not eat, as ridiculous as it sounds. They have this idea that food in their belly makes them happy. Food may make a women happy, but we certainly won't be as grumpy if we do not get to eat at the moment. Men are different, they will not budge, talk, or be in a good mood until they eat. I don't know why. Maybe this trait never went away from the old cave men days. (haha).

6. She doesn't take crap from anyone. This means that she can stand up for herself when she is treated wrongly. A women who doesn't take any crap from anyone shows that she doesn't need her man to interfere in the drama. Men always hate the drama that women entangle themselves in and so it's important to be able to handle it without involving him. Women who also stand up for themselves show that they respect themselves. People who respect themselves are always respected by others. This also means that when he is doing something wrong she puts her foot down and doesn't let him do anything he wants if anything means cheating, lieing, and flirting with other women. Men like to be shown who's boss sometimes and that makes them feel better when they also call a woman out on things she shouldn't be doing.

7. She shares her feelings and communicates effectively. This should be something that comes natural to women, but sometimes I find myself struggling with it. Men need to be told what is wrong because they can never understand our hints. It's important to just be direct with them and let them know their faults because if a women doesn't do that she is more prone to express it angrily when it builds up and it becomes too late. That means expressing everything that bothers a women, no matter how little it may be. Sometimes when we think in our head it gives a little face expression that can be offensive. Sometimes men will reply, " what is that remark on your face about." If she replies, " nothing" he may feel that bad because she doesn't feel the need to share it with him or that something he is doing is making her feel bad and it feels worse when he can't get her to tell him what it is. This then makes him feel like she shouldn't be with him because she can't even share her feelings with him.

DATING VIOLENCE

Sexual assualt..why does it happen?

*Male aggressiveness

*Male Machoness

* Alcoholism

Male aggressiveness:

Includes trying to control the relationship. Not letting the female see her family and friends by using threatening words and force. Many females in abusive relationships start to loose their friends. The females try hard to lease their boyfriend, but they are still harshly criticize about unimportant things. When they want to spend time with their friends many females may feel uneasy about it and feel that they need permission to because the male claims if she is away from him how can he keep his eye on her. Therefore, this can lead to many stalkings by the male. The male may become overtly jealous of the female talking to other males and she is only aloud to engage with conversations with females. He may feel that in order to have a good time he must be present with her. Males may become overly protrusive and restrict the females from certain activities such as swimming, attending dinners, and going to the mall. Swimming is a problem because the male may feel threatened that the female is exposing skin no matter how much the female says she loves her. Attending dinners is a problem because the male feels that the female is too nicely dressed up and other male guests will enjoy her beauty. He claims, " Who are you trying to impress; am I not good enough for you?" Going to the mall is a place where many women are eyed at by young males and is a big social unit.

Case Study: Ivana and Bruce

Ivana and Bruce met during high school and after couple dates they fell madly in love and began to talk about marriage. Ivana was proud to have Bruce as her partner, but Bruce regardless, would get moody and jealous. He voiced numerous suspicions of wheter Ivana was lying to him. Eventually he began to stalk Ivana. He would also accuse her of being insensitive to his feelings. After thinking that he was right she would be extremely careful in how she treated him. He didn't seem to be relaxed and complained that her friends had took up all her time. She grew apart with her friends. He would constantly call her several times a day just to check up on her. One day when he picked Ivana up on a date he was mad because he claimed her skirt was too tight and the she was trying to show off her body to other guys. He also forbided her to go on a vacation to Tahiti because they were going to go swimming and wearing a bathing suit only exposed her skin even more. He went ballistic when he saw the family vacation photos of her in a bikini he went ballistic tearing her photo album and shaking and screaming at her. When they went on another date he promised to adjust his behavior. The date was fine until the end of the day when they drove to the beach. He began to be violent and claimed that Ivana never loved him. Although Ivana was upset she tried to think of everything she could to calm Bruce down. But it didn't do her any good because his anger was too much. He grabbed Ivana by the throat and began to slap her and choke her. He eventually ripped of her clothes and rapped her and pushed her out of his car and left her sobbing alone at the beach.

Male Machoness: The belief that males are superior than females because they are stronger and "smarter". Women are second class citizens. They call all the shots and women should respect their authority. These males are very unfair and unreasonable and are stuck on the belief that the female is here to serve the male and when she acts up she should be put in her place. These males tend to be violent, aggressive, and ruthless and show no respect for their partner. They see women as objects and a being without a brain. Females in this relationship are focused on the idea that love conquers all and that this behavior will change over time and is only temporary.

Case study: Claudia and Roberto

Claudia met Roberto when she was in junior high school. All she wanted was a boyfriend who loved her and made her feel special. One problem they had was that they flighted like dogs and cats on everything- what movie to see, what to eat, what to do for fun, and whether to go out. But Claudia thought that it was normal because every couple fights, she presumed. As they sat in the car one night Claudia accused Roberto of flirting with an old girlfriend and Roberto slapped Claudia. Claudia slapped him back. Over time this violence got worse and once she had a black eye and couple bruises. The violence escalated over time. Roberto made Claudia give up her participation on the debate team and she eventually stopped hanging out with her friends. He claimed that her nagging was what caused so many fights, so she did her best to please him and thought that the quarrels would stop. She was wrong. Prom was quickly approaching and she was ecstatic she thought that she could finish high school and finally get married to Roberto. At prom the two had gotten into a quarrel as usual, but it only got worse when Roberto's friends had teased him because they claimed he couldn't keep his "woman in line." At this he began to feel humiliated and eventually kicked and punched Claudia over and over again. He left her in the parking lot bleeding and unconscious. When she went to the doctor it was said that she might loose vision in one of her eyes. After all that happen she was still worried that she would never see Roberto again and she thought her life would be over.

Alcoholism: Males tendency to get overly drunk and sexually assault a woman. Or the woman is completely intoxicated while the male is sober and he takes advantage of her. She is pressured to drink because she wants to please her date. These woman are often college freshmen who get drink and ken advantage of at Fraternities because there is no one to supervise them and tell them that what they are doing is wrong.

Case study: Mary and Her Frat Bash

Mary a freshman at Florida State University had been drinking tequila before attending a frat party. Her boyfriend, Daniel Oltarsh a junior, age 23, and a brother of Pi Kappa Alpha was her date. He gave her wine and left her in his room. Later he returned and forced Mary to have sex with her. Then he brang her to a Frat Bathroom and put her in a shower room where two other frat boys had raped her. She was then dumped into another hallway where a second frat house where they initialed their symbols. As news of these assaults broke out Mary begin to blame herself of the victimization. She tried to change her physical appearance so she wouldn't be recognized but, it didn't help. She couldn't cope with this stress anymore and she checked into a psychiatric clinic for depression, bulimia, and alcoholism.

Walking Apon The Streets of NY

WHY? The question that many woman seem to come across when witnesseing many of episodes of being stalked, followed, hurassed, and gawked at that MANY (not all) men do not experience. Almost every woman has witnessed one of the following that I have listed. These kinds of situations can happen anywhere and is very popular in crowded, busy places like NY. In many populated places like New York it can be extremely uncomfortable for women because of the fact that these male workers are always commenting on their looks and chasing them, stalking them, and gawking at them. It is not uncommon for these things to occur and it's often normalized. Many women grow accustom to these comments and reply back with a thank you and others expect it and ignore it. Another thing that was interesting was how women do not say anything to strangers, while men feel comfortable with addressing these women even though they don't know them. That illustrates that women are not a threat why? because the females are rarely going to harm the males they are more prone to be the mouse instead of the cat. I feel that women in a sense are trapped. If they react the same ways that these males do such as stalking, gawking, and hollering at them the males would only enjoy it. If they ignore it the problem still exists and the males see it as ok to do what they are doing. What should females do to stop this problem?

I remember being a victim of many of these episodes while walking the streets of NY. I have been stalked, harassed, and gawked at. "wow", "whiste" " heeelllo beautiful" or "oww" men as old as their 30s and late 40's would say as I passed by. What could I do except ignore these men or simply thank them...but why thank them? Thank them for looking at me as a peice of meat or object? For staring at my body in an indecent manner? Did those comments help boast my self esteem? NO. Their comments were obviously offensive. Why do they have to make these comments especially when these comments don't phase me and I don't thank them either. I don't even bother to give these men dirty looks because their not worth the energy. The second incident happened when i was on the subway. From my preferial vision I saw a man staring at me as I sat patiently on the bus. At first, ignored his stares but his stares continued to be apparent through many stops. As I stepped of the subway I ran into this man again. I saw him at the same stop as me staring at me and not going or doing anything. I saw him come on the subway I had gotten on. I decided to get off the subway as soon as I got on and he wasn't aware that I had gotten off because he had only seen me get on. The last event was the worse event yet to happen to me. As I was walking with my family I lagged behind and these men were eyeing me. One of them had gotten really close because it was so crouded that he was able to smoothly touch me and he grabbed my arm and held on to it for 5 seconds. Those five seconds were the longest, stragest, scariest seconds of my life. I was shocked I stared at him and he stared back and says "beautiful". Before I could yell out to my family he released his grip and I sprinted away. why do men do this? because they can without fear. women are seen as vulrnable, harmless, and powerless. Men are seen as the preditors and females are usually the pray. When rappings occur it happens mostly by men not woman. And when men are raped they are raped by men and thefore men are the problem. Women may hit, scream, kick, throw, scratch, bite, slap, and push but they do not rape men.

Many women have also experienced many of these assualts not only on the streets but at work . It takes them a long time to report it because they don't reaize that its happening and its not acceptable. It seems really strange for these girls not to realize that these men at the workplace don't have the authority to touch them. If they can't be handled like that with a boyfriend what makes sexual assualt okay coming from a complete stranger? Of course it felt wrong to them, but the problem is even though people knew about the incident that didn't change anything. The girls who were sexually assaulted knew it was wrong but the fact that no one spoke up when they knew what was going on only encouraged the girls to behave just as everyone else did and that is to ignore it. When people see sexual assualt they do not want to get involved. There are many cases where people see that sexual assualt is going on and do nothing about it to stop it... they just watch. Take for example the rape that occured at the UA campus at subway. People were too scared to rescue her from the rapist and the rapist was able to do some damage before she could get away. People need to react fast because the slower they respond the more harm that is resulting to these girls. These people who just watched sexual assualt happen are guilty of NOT getting involved. This victim's fate was in their hands because they could have prevented further damage if they only reported the incident as soon as they knew about it!

Mandatory Blog 3: Adair

Adair's essay is very compelling because it focus on many themes that women go through while enduring poverty. The themes are coming to America for a better life, single mothers, and fighting for education in order to empower themselves and to endorse a better future for their loved ones. My guess in why we are assigned to read this journal article is because we learned about social witness issues and our next project is to take that social witness issue and do a project about it. This women's social witness essay is presented in the form of a journal article that features many of her own experiences as well as other women's experiences.

Her story begins by addressing the social issue of poverty and being a single mother. The author paints a picture of herself in a shelter with multiple bruises, a missing tooth and a busted lip. She suffers from domestic violence and runs away with her 8th month baby. At this time she goes through tremendous difficulty such as no support, no money for medical care, and not enough food. It takes about 2 weeks for to reopen her case and process her request for assistance and she could not apply for food stamps because she did not have a rent reciet in her own name and the medical care coverage was limited to only fixing her front tooth. She had other injuries in her mouth that could not be fixed. She decides that in order to make it through this world and to support her child she needed to go through college. She studied, attended classes, worked, and cared for her daughter. She managed to get aid from the AFDC or the Aid To Families with Dependent Children and received grants, food stamps, and Medicare. She even went as far as donating her plasma at blood banks for some extra cash to pay for classes and books.

She as well as many others had gone through this obstacle of taking care of a child and going to college. Take for example, Lyne Woolsey, Gita Rajan, and Shannon Standfeild. Lyne Woosley was a woman who was newly divorced and forced to go to welfare. She had two children to take care of and managed to go back to school just like Adair. She was also successful in opening a new business. She ran office and became a congress women in 1992. Dr. Gita has the same story. She was also a divorced women whom was thrown into poverty. She went to college while working and lived off of school loans. She eventually earned her PH.D and is an award winning teacher whom also won her doctor degree in neuroengineering. Shannon another poor single woman experienced success as well. The problem with her was that she was too independent on her husband. He eventually abandoned her and abused her and left her with two young babies. She was among the worst poverty stricken single mothers with no job experience, little education, and no savings, and she barley covered enough money to pay for rent that left nothing for her babie's diapers, utilities, and transportation.

Because of her decision to go back to college she managed to save herself and children. She had maintained valuable success in college with a A grade average her senior year.

The theme that these women share all leads to one main goal. Going back to college so that their kids can live a better life in the future as well as themselves. These women were so successful despite the struggles that they came across. I feel like if these women can be successful in school with these kinds of struggles than many people can look to them for inspiration and overcome the struggle they may face as well. What makes these women different from the rich students of today was that they really wanted to improve their life. They did not spend their time partying or goofing off and skipping class. These women were too busy to socialize focused on school every minute they could because their time was short due to the pressure at work and taking care of their children. These women showed that they had nothing to lose and everything to gain. They were already at the bottom of the pit and so the only thing that they could do was work hard and climb to the top. As Shannon puts it, she was able to " take her children and climb the stone was that was built by helplessness and hopelessness. Their story makes me feel blessed to have the privilege to further my education in school without any pressures. Thanks to my parents I have the opportunity just as these children of the women who struggled to go to school, Sharron, Lynn, Gita, and Adair, to be able to receive support for college. Reading this article makes me want to try harder in school. I should be getting good grades just as these women because they had so much more obstacles to overcome than I do and if they can do it, I can too.

Forthood Shooting

The attack in Texas at Forthood left thirteen people killed. Many have been debating about weather this was an act of terrorism or and just another tragic shooting. The shooter was Nadal Malik Hasan, he was Palestinian born and a devoted Muslim. Before shooting the people it was said that he was dressed in a large, ceremonial, white gown that many people wear before praying. He was seen in this white gown 7 hours before the shooting had began at a local gas station near the Forthood. From his conversation with the gas station owner, he is seen smiling at the local surveillance camera. His behavior was completely normal and relaxed, therefore no one had a hint as to what was about to happen. His conversation with the clerk at a local gas station was about his intentions about finding a pious wife who prays every Friday and is strict in the religion.

If we look at his reason to hurt these people it's simple. He was going through a lot of pressure with killing a bunch of Muslims. How can another Muslim kill a Muslim brother. Recently, Nadal had posted a blog about suicide bombings. In his words he described the courageous act of one solider jumping into a grave and saving the rest of his fellow comrades. And that was what Nadal wanted to do; he wanted to save his fellow Muslims from being shot by a flock of American solders, whom I presume were mostly christian. He said in his blog that the best way to do this was to do it when people take you off guard.

I understand that it may be hard for him to hurt the Muslims, but then what I don't understand was why he decided to join the army then. Nadal was seriously wounded it was said, but he was not dead. People are anxiously waiting for his ambition to kill. In my opinion the evidence is there. He didn't want to go oversees to the middle east whom he derived from. Another factor was the fact that he was a psychiatrist. Some say that the constant job of being a doctor for the American solders can become traumatic because he made take his work into his professional life. The clerk at the gas station reported that Nadal would stress about the idea of going to the Middle East.

It is no wonder that many people presume this was a terrorist attack. The Muslim community fears backlash against the Muslim faith. What people need to understand is that just because there are extremist out there it doesn't mean that the Muslim religion is to blame. Many people are saying that jihad encourages these Muslims to kill, but Jihad only means self defense. If someone is coming at one during battle then they have the right to fight back. Jihad also means to struggle against corruption. Many people these days do not do the right things and it is getting harder to do the right thing. An act like this is exactly what is wrong, obviously. In the case of Nadal, no one was attacking him and in the end he ended up killing innocent people. It was reported that a pregnant women was among the thirteen people who died. How on earth did a pregnant women get shot? she was at the wrong place in the wrong time. Nadal was going against his faith because the religion does not say go a head a kill innocent people. People should preach but, no one can force a religion on another. In Nadal's eyes he felt like he was seen as a hero for his fellow Muslims. In the Muslim community many see him as a bad example and are mourning for the families that have lost a loved one.

It is important to see both sides of a story. It is Understandable to see the United States as an enemy as it is to see the Middle East as an enemy. In the end, there always going to be bad people in any region. The U.S army was reported torturing middle eastern soldiers, while there are extremists like Osama bombing buildings and killing innocent people. So which side is the good side? In my opinion there is no bad side good side. There is a mixture. The United states may be fighting back for self defense and in a way doing Jihad, self defense. But does fighting back justify torture solders? NO. Yes, the United States should fight back, but they should be cautious as to not perform any acts of vengeance. Because once, vengeance comes into play the United States becomes no better than the ones they are defending themselves against. We as a nation must, unite together and stop any 'Ism, such as racism, sexism and terrorism and be good role models for the rest of the countries. The United States is a melting pot, which is a better reason for people to unite together.

80% of Fouth Graders Diet!! :O

Wall Street Journal. In 1986, journalist Jeff Zaslow wanted to further explore a recently released statistic that 80% of fourth grade girls were dieting. He went into an elementary school and interviewed girls and boys to get the truth. For this week’s column, he reconnected with some of those girls, who are now 32 and 33-year-old women. Did they deal with weight and body image issues as teenagers? What kinds of concerns do they have as adults? And are things better or worse for girls growing up today?

These young girls that Jeff interviewed struggled through dieting even in their adolescent and recently their adulthood. Many of them reported having been weight conscious, struggling with depression, struggling with obesity and eventually end up dieting again, just as these women did in fourth grade. It was easy to understand why the were dieting many didn’t want to be teased by boys, some felt in order to be attractive to boys they had to be skinny, and a big influence for these girls was the media.

From experience I can say that I was well aware of what the idealized beauty of a female was. It surrounded me when I was in 1st grade. From show and tell I brought a glittering Mermaid Barbie with long, skinny legs, long, wavy, blonde, flowing hair, a tiny, narrow, waist, and a protruding chest. Her face was even enhanced with plastic coated make up; her lips were red, eyes were shadowed, and her skin was blushed. “She’s so pretty!” “I want to look like that!” “ Her hair is gorgeous; can I hold her.” I remembered the girls say with excitement. The boys weren’t as fascinated for the doll, but I always remember them saying, “fat girls are gross.”

Today, this idea of idealized beauty has gotten worse. Toys like Barbie and Brats are targeting girls to wear makeup. There is a Barbie head that a girl can purchase where girls can dye and style the doll head’s hair and the kit even includes small bottles of nail polish and lipstick for girls to wear. Brats has done a similar thing, they come with perfumes and lip gloss. Often the Brats are advertised shopping and getting their hair done at a salon. The brats appearance makes promotes young girls as age as seven to buy make up. Their eyes are heavily lined and shadowed, their lips are also lined and filled with red paint. Girls are taught that big eyes and big lips, along with a small face and tiny waste is what is beautiful. These dolls also influence girls to long for adolescent hood, drive cars, have surfer-dude, beach-bum-boyfriends, and wear make up like women and teens. None of the dolls they play with look like little girls. These dolls reflect the American culture of Paris Hilton. She is a rich, snobby, spoiled female who doesn’t do anything educational. She is concerned with beauty, fashion, and looking thin. Sadly, that is why many girls look up to her because she fulfills the images of these BRATZ dolls and Barbie. Just look at the BRATZ name. It’s so “cool” to be a BRAT, aka be rich, snobby, and beauty crazed.

( IF BARBIE WERE REAL ):

Many of these women whom Jeffery interviewed are well in their thirties by now. Their concerns today are precisely what I have introduced: the growing influence of idealized beauty that targets young girls and women. They feel that because of this idealized beauty many of the kids go on diets, regardless of if they are skinny or thin. Dieting should not be a concern for little girls and that’s the bottom line! Their bodies are still developing and all it needs is proper nutrition not diets. Eating sweets is not so harmful if it is eaten moderately. Any food that is eaten moderately is good and eating too much of it is obviously bad. Obesity is likely to occur from eating fatty foods not sweets. So avoid the Happy Meals sometimes and KFC, Pizza Hut, and Burger King Kid’s Meals that kids generally eat. All a parent needs to do is give children the right foods and encourage them to EAT. They should have lean meats, fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains, and a small amount of sweets is okay. Instead of giving them soda pack them some fresh juice or milk. That way food can taste good and be healthy. Also encourage them to play outside or enroll them in sports at school. It is also a good Idea to keep the young kids away from make up!! Girls have too many Lip Smackers these days.

Why Women Out Live Men

I was wondering something while searching for something to write about. It's very sad that men do not live as long as women and I am sure being a widow is tough, especially for the elderly. Often my grandma is always spending her time sleeping, praying, or eating, and sitting quietly in the corner. From the look on her face I can tell that she is lonely and needs someone besides her. No matter how much time one would spend with her it never fills that empty void she has inside. The happiest I've seen her is when she is around babies. She likes taking care of young kids and playing with them because I think she feels welcomed when the babies laugh and smile at her. Somtimes I think she just needs to talk to someone her own age and to have somone by her side who cares for her. Kind of like my grandmpa who died at a very young age, even before I was born. I never got the chance to meet him. So that is why I typed the question why women live longer then men and came up with an article by Time Magazine, entitled " Why Do Women Live Longer Then Men?" The facts are interesting and I left a URL for anyone who would want to read the article themselves.---> http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1827162,00.html

For this blog I am going to simply break down what my findings were.

-Woman's advantage over man:

Men develop cardiovascular disease, stroke, and heart attacks at an earlier age than women, according to Tom Perls. women develop cardiovascular disease ten years before men do at their 70's and 80's. Which means that men develop these problems in their 60's and 70's.

-Iron deficiency:

The lack of Iron in women can explain these results. Women loose their iron because of their menstrual period. "Iron plays a very important part in the reactions in our cells that produce damaging free radicals, which gloom onto cell membranes and DNA, and may translate into aging the cell"(http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1827162,00.html#ixzz0W3ZUCgTN). Iron is apparent in red meat since it is the main source of Iron. My mom is vegetarian which makes sense why she is low in Iron and in a way I guess being a vegetarian is good for you. I disagree with being a vegetarian though, and disagree with time on this comment because how are you suppose to get a good amount of nourishing protein. Beans and some vegetables barley have enough protein.

-X Chromo:

Because women have two sets of X chromosomes they are advantageous over men whom only have one X chromosome, as we all know. "if one set of variations provides a survival advantage for the cells versus another, then the cells with the advantage will persist while the other ones will die off, leaving behind more cells with the genes on the more advantageous X chromosome. So, in women, cells can perhaps be protected by a slightly better variation of a gene on the second X chromosome"( http://www.time.com/).

-Testosterone storm:

Males in their late teens and 20's go through something called "Testosterone Storm"

The levels of testosterone become high and and changes at quite sometimes. This causes men to engage in risky behavior such as aggression, drinking too much, smoking too much and etc. Overall these males can do risky things at this period in their life that can eventually lead to death. Females do not seem to act as risky and therefore live longer.

-Genetics is responsible for only 30% and most people live up to their 80's. The older one is the healthier they are.

-Better care:

three things that women do better than men is not smoke as much, they eat less, and deal with stress in better ways. Since most men keep their feelings inside and do not discuss what is bothering them they tend to put a lot of stress on their body and tend to be sick a lot more. That also explains why men smoke a lot more. When people are stressed out they smoke cigars to relive the stress they are experiencing instead of talking it out. Males have larger bodies than females and can have quite an appetite. Most females now a days tend to be weight cautions and tend to eat salads, fruits, nuts, and granola bars. They feel they have to keep their figure right. While men on the other hand, may work out, but consume meats and butters that are high in cholesterol. Their portions are a lot larger than males so they consume more of it.

Mandatory BLog #2: AR Chap. 7

I agree with the book that " emotions are associated with the body and are thought to be dangerous and superficial" ( Crowley & Hawhee, 247). That's because many people get emotional and become irrational. However, when It all comes down to it emotions is a very powerful tool and is necessary to establish our beliefs. Most of our emotions shape our decision making skills because people want to do the moral thing and that means touching up on our emotions as well as practicality to make the right choice.

The only way emotions can be deemed dangerous is because people may be persuaded to do the wrong things simply through manipulation of emotions. That's why one must understand the way emotions are aroused or quelled. For example, Aristotle says that, " first they must understand the state of mind of people who are angry, joyful or indignant; second, they must know who can excite these emotions in people; third they must understand the reason for why people become emotional" ( Crowley & Hawhee, 251). The intensity of emotions is also noted. The more anger and sadness and joy the closer and near their objects are in time = intensity.

As many rhetoric's who use emotional appeal the most important center piece is the audience. without the audience their is no purpose for spreading the message. Rhetoric's study audiences to test their appeal to emotions and persuasiveness of the audience. One example of a man who did this was Plato. Aristotle was believed to follow Plato in this idea writing, " young people are more passionate then old people, but their emotions pass quickly" ( Crowley & Hawhee, 253). I agree with that statement strongly. If you look at the most persuasive forms of communication, we often think of the media. The media often targets young audiences rather than old and that is precisely why. Young people are more emotional because they are constantly changing and developing, with their hormones ranging out of control. Young people are targeted because they are the most vulnerable to persuasion. They lack developmental maturity, meaning they are not at the same capacity as a adults to make the right decisions and therefore easily influenced. That is why in the U.S there are different laws, or rules for adolescents and adults.

In contrast, older people, as Aristotle states, " tend to be suspicious because their hopes have often been dashed" ( Crowley & Hawhee, 253). I also agree with that statement because many old people often don't trust people because they are wise. Their experiences have shaped them to believe that people can't be trusted because they are only trying to manipulate the elderly. Elderly are at the point where they can no longer be easily as influenced. They are near death, so they have lived there life and waiting to pass over. There is nothing to hope for, as they age they become brittle, and they are not even capable of taking care of themselves. Older people are rarely targeted by the media. The only advertisements directed at them are advertisements dealing with supplements to help with pain and memory loss.