Dating violence

Dating violence can occur most commonly among adolescence and college years and can range from physical violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse. During adolescence forming a relationship is a key component in an adolescent’s developmental process and being single is considered an issue among males and females. The idea of being single makes students believe that the girl must be prude or the guy must not have any “game.” Because many adolescents are still changing and growing they are developmentally immature and therefore, easily influenced. The term developmentally immature refers to an adolescent’s inability to make rational decisions due to the fact that they have not reached the full capacity of adult decision making skills. Some relationships that adolescents engage in become abusive and they do not realize this because they lack experience in relationships. Because there are many forms of dating violence, college students are also included in the statistics for dating violence. Many college students are sexually assaulted because of the common place to drink in college.

Dating violence most commonly occurs with females, but studies suggest that males may also be victimized physically and emotionally. However, males injure females more severely and frequently and this may continue and eventually lead to death. Therefore, there is a need for prevention programs to educate the youth about dating violence so that dating violence can be prevented and reduced if has already occurred. In order to make dating violence prevention programs more effective, dating violence must be clearly defined, the frequency must be reviewed to accommodate the many people in need of aid, the different forms of dating violence: physical, sexual and emotional must be studied, how the problem effects the individual and well being of the community must be analyzed, and the risk factors of dating violence and its forms must be explored.

The reason why dating violence must be clearly identified is because the definition of dating violence often excludes some forms of abuse and that in turn affects the frequency of dating violence. For instance, the more forms of dating violence that included in the definition, i.e sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, the higher the frequency is increased. Reasons why prevalence rates vary so significantly have to do with the lack of standardized definitions used to assess dating violence. Some researchers include psychological and emotional abuse in their definition while others are more restrictive and only include physically violent acts. Furthermore, sexual violence is often excluded from definitions. All forms of dating violence must be included because that increases awareness of the problem. Awareness of all forms of dating violence also ensures better prevention programs because victims who suffer from physical abuse may also suffer from sexual abuse and those that undergo emotional abuse encountered sexual abuse. The risk factors of dating violence, of course are the main things prevention programs look for in order to prevent the abuse from happening. If the abuse has already occurred than it is also equally important to look at the impacts of dating violence to help those who have encountered abuse to the road to recovery. Overall, prevention programs are necessary because adolescents who victimize others will continue to victimize in adult hood. Thus, there is a need for these prevention programs, Safe Dates and Expect Respect, to educate the public.

Prevention Programs of Dating Violence (continued)

my second dating violence prevention program is a program entittled "Expect Respect."

B. Prevention program Y
1. Introduce program Y
The Expect Respect program is based on the ideology that bullying and sexual harassment behaviors condition students to accept mistreatment in their peer relationships, laying the foundation for abuse in future dating relationships. The program is designed to raise awareness of dating violence, teach skills for healthy relationships, to develop youth leadership and increase respect and safety on campus. This is established by changing pre dating attitudes and behaviors. The program was formally known as Teen Dating Violence Program and was born through a local high school’s request in Austin, Texas for specialized counseling for girls who have undergone abusive relationships. Two councilors began to use the materials they encountered from their experience working with battered women. The program eventually became famous and expanded to five schools. With the abundant amount of positive feedback, the program became known by National Resource Center on Domestic Violence.

2. Risk factors that program y focus on
The risk factors the program focuses on are supporting youth from healing from past abuse, raising their expectations for equality and respect, increasing awareness of sexual assault and dating violence, and increasing their confidence in taking action to prevent abuse and harassment.

3. Components
. The program is broken into four parts as follows:
I. Counseling and Support Groups.
Counseling and support groups are provided for students in grades K-12 who have experienced sexual, dating, or domestic violence or who are in an abusive relationship. In part one, students are introduced to dating violence through a summary of research and presented with prevention strategies.

II. Classroom Presentations.
Three class room presentations are provided for grades 6-12. These topics include dating violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and healthy relationships. These presentations are for students who have undergone violence in their homes and dating relationships. Support groups help students heal from past abuse, help students acquire the skills needed for a healthy relationship, and help them prevent future victimization and perpetration.

III. The Summer Teen Leadership Program.
Through an eight week internship, teen leaders are trained on issues of social justice and violence prevention to provide workshops on bullying prevention for children at summer care sites in Austin.


IV. Training for School Personnel.

Educators are trained in order to address school-wide strategies for preventing bullying, sexual harassment, and gender violence. Parent sessions are also provided.

4. Intended audience
The audience is a mixture of groups consisting of adults who are training to be professional educators in counseling young kids, high school students who participate in a paid internship during a summer teen leadership program, elementary school children who have experienced domestic violence , bullying, and teasing, and junior high school students who have undergone domestic violence, sexual violence, teasing, bullying, and are in abusive relationships. Middle school and junior high school students are the main participators of the program. Many of the presentations and support groups are directed towards them because these are the groups that undergo bullying and teasing.

5. Methods-presentations, interactive experiences, media etc. and length
For elementary students, the educator presents a 12 session curriculum that features many activities such as class discussions, role plays, games, and creative writing exercises. The program focuses on assisting elementary school children in distinguishing between teasing and bullying and discovering how teasing and bullying link to sexual harassment. For Junior high school students, a two session classroom presentation is prepared to engage students in activities and discussions with peers on the topics of sexual harassment, dating violence, and sexual assault. Theater performances and workshops are also provided, along with weekly educational support groups that experienced sexual and family violence. Student driven and school wide activities promote awareness of violence and its prevention by holding poster contests, bulletin board displays and performances by older and younger students.

6. ( if applicable) program evaluation and effectiveness
Rosenbluth (2001) collected consumer satisfaction data on the 3-session high school program: 80% of students rated the program as helpful in learning about healthy relationships; 81% would recommend it to friends. The activities rated by students as ‘excellent’ or ‘good’ included: speakers (73%), video (50%) and discussion (64%). Some male students commented that "guys seemed to be blamed for everything".
Rosenbluth, B. (December 2001). Data from a high school program for November-December 2001. Austin, TX: Safe Place.

Prevention Programs

A. Prevention program X

1. Introduce Program X
Safe Dates is a school based program designed to prevent psychological, sexual, and emotional abuse on dates or between teenagers involved in a dating relationship. This is done by raising awareness of what constitutes a healthy dating relationship verses an abusive relationship, raising awareness of dating abuse and its causes and consequences, equipping students with the skills and resources they need to save themselves and those in need from an abusive relationship, and by helping teens develop healthy dating relationships through positive communication, anger management, and conflict resolution.

2. Risk factors that program x focuses on
The risk factors the program focuses on are changing norms for dating violence, gender stereotyping, conflict management skills, awareness of the resources available and knowledge about how to get help. The main goal of the program is to change adolescent dating violence and gender role norms, improve conflict resolution skills, initiate help seeking behavior for community resources in both perpetrators and victims of abusive relationships, and improve the skills needed to help those in need of aid from an abusive relationship. The program also features substance abuse due to the fact that it often correlates with high amounts of violence.

3. components
The program is composed of nine 50 minute sessions, a 45 minute theatrical play and a poster contest. The nine 50 minute sessions are composed as follows:
Session 1: Defining Caring Relationships
Students are introduced to Safe Dates by playing a bingo game and taking part in a class discussion about how they would like to be treated in a dating relationship.
Session 2: Defining Dating Abuse
Students clearly define what dating abuse is by reviewing statistics and discussing scenarios.
Session 3: Why Do People Abuse?
Students take part in small and large group discussions and review scenarios to help them identify the causes and consequences of dating abuse.
Session 4: How to Help Friends
Students are introduced to “Friend’s Wheel,” take part in a decision-making exercise, and read a dramatic piece to learn why it is difficult for victims of abuse to leave an abusive relationships and what they can do to help their friends and acquaintances if he or she is in an abusive relationship.
Session 5: Helping Friends
Students perform a skit and are introduced to stories to help them practice effective skills for helping their friends who are victims of abuse or confronting those who are perpetrators of abuse.
Session 6: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes
Students complete a writing exercise, take part in small group discussions, view scenarios, and learn about how gender stereotypes can affect dating relationships and how to avoid using it.
Session 7: Equal Power through Communication
Students are taught eight skills for effective communication and these skills are put to practice through role plays and skits.
Session 8: How We Feel, How We Deal
Students pursue a diary, discuss a piece entitled “ hot buttons,” and learn effective ways to recognize and handle their behavior in order to prevent it from leading into abusive behavior that many couples struggle with.
Session 9: Preventing Sexual Assault
Students take a quiz, participate in a caucus, discuss with a panel of their peers and learn about the issue of sexual assault and discuss the measures necessary for prevention.

Theatrical Play
The play is entitled “There Is No Excuse For Dating Abuse,” and is 45 minutes in length. The play is not performed by professionals, but by high school drama students. Small group discussions are lead by the actors about the statistics that are presented on dating abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse, following the performance of the play. Family members are also engaged in the program through parent letters and brochures.

Poster Contest
A poster contest is held at the end of the program to help students reinforce the concepts they learned from the program and also to help them educate others in the knowledge they have gained about dating violence. This part of the program is mandatory and students have the option of using these posters in a feature presentation for community groups or various schools. The posters are created and hung in school hallways and community buildings such as libraries, malls, and city halls.

4. Intended audience
The program is intended for middle school and high school students ages 12-18. Both males and females participate in this program and there was proven effectiveness for students of African American and Caucasian decent. The program can be initiated through a councilor as part of a counseling or educational program in school or for faith based communities and after school programs or community youth enrichment organizations such as “YMCA” and “Girl Scouts.” Even more effective is using the program for people who have already committed dating violence or undergone dating violence. These places would include domestic violence crisis
centers, juvenile diversion programs, and victim support group centers.

5. Methods- presentations, interactive experiences, media, etc. and length
The methods used in this program included presentations such as statistics, scenarios, and role playing, interactive experiences such as large and small group discussions, panel of peers, games, decision making exercises, the use of media through a theatrical play about dating violence that is performed by high school drama students, and academic exercises such as a diary, readings, and a writing exercise. The interactive experiences, academic exercises, and presentations are methods that are featured in the nine 50 minute sessions and the presentation of statistics and interactive experiences of large group discussions are a part of the 45 minute theatrical performance.

6. ( if applicable) Program evaluation and effectiveness
There is evidence that the program is effective because Safe Dates is researched based program. The program was effective in preventing and reducing perpetration among adolescents that were engaging in violence with their dates. Adolescents who participated in the program also reported less acceptance of dating violence, stronger communication and anger management skills, less of a tendency to gender stereotype, and had a greater awareness of the resources available for them from community services, compared to those who did not participate in the program. Students also reported a 56% to 92% reduction in reports of physical, serious physical and sexual dating violence victimization and perpetration after a four year follow up.

;'( Sad & Blue

How do you recover from something so devastating? and why is it that I feel that something like this is devastating? People go through break ups all the time and it's normal. How do you get back on track? Something like this certainly does interfere with school. As hard as I try to focus, I just can't do it. I feel so hurt and so alone. Talking about it doesn't help either. Sometimes I feel like it would of been better if I Never met the person or fell in love at all.

It is really tough to adjust to this feeling especially when you use to spend all your time together. I don't think that it was healthy and because of that I don't know how to be alone anymore. In the beginning I wanted to spend time alone and not always be with someone. I always complained how I wouldn't get to see my friends. you know that saying it's better to of loved then to not loved at all? I disagree. I think I was better off alone. I never did get my wish to spend time with family, friends, and a bf. It was always one or the other and to make it worse my family didn't like who I was with. So I was always unhappy about that.

This feeling even haunts me in my dreams. I feel like every time I close my eyes I see flashbacks of memories and a fake version of him that didn't exist. An imaginary personality he had where he wouldn't complain about anything and we just got along. He was very noble, honest, and gentle. He made me feel happy and good about myself. But in reality he was always getting mad over little things like the fact that I am so feminist. Why is feminism seen as wrong? I just feel like men are physically stronger and they use that power to take advantage of women. I just want it to be equal and no supremacy of females over males. This means that females shouldn't take advantage of the fact that it's seen as okay to SLAP a man across the face; just like we see in movies.

I've seen many relationships like mine. Relationships where the woman goes everywhere with her boyfriend and his friends, but it's never the other way around. This way he gets to see his friends and be with his girlfriends the same time.

I feel like this pain I feel is my own fault. I was too forgiving and let my emotions get in the way. That is something I know a lot of women do. It's like a kind of motherly quality. Mothers are always forgiving and when we think of a parent we think of mom and rarely about dad. I feel like mothers are more emotional than fathers and that's why they are so ready to easily forgive.

I feel like there is too much that time can't erase. I was always there for him and now there is no one here for me. I can't go to my parents because they do not approve of dating it's not a loud and my siblings never liked him anyway. The reason they didn't like him was because I changed a lot when I was with him. I don't drink anymore, but that was my choice and I'd wish people see that. I wasn't influenced by him I was just informed. I have a really good reason not to drink I was sexually assaulted when I did drink and I don't think it was my fault it was just that alcohol made it harder for me to fight.

I never reported many of these assaults because I always felt like it was my fault I could have prevented it and it's too humiliating to tell someone what I went through it. Because of these assault my relationship was very unstable because I had a hard time trusting men. It feels really bad because I eventually did end up trusting him and it only brought sorrow. So my question is how do you recover? Sometimes women don't. and that's what scares me...

What Men Look For In Women

Today's blog will discuss my personal opinion in what men look for when seeking women. The things listed are my own personal belief and I will compare my list to what research actually says men look for.

1. She does things to show that she cares. This means little gestures such as gifts, compliments, support when he feels down, running errands, and simply talking to him about his feelings and needs. Giving gifts shows appreciation for the person and making gifts really shows that she is in to him. Complimenting a man shows that a women is impressed with him and it makes him feel secure. Talking about one's feelings and needs is an important aspect in a relationship. The point of being in a relationship is not just to be with someone, but to care for someone. If people only wanted to see someone it wouldn't be a relationship it would be just dating. It is important to support someone when they are going through tough times to show that one cares for the person they are with and it isn't just about dating. Running errands can suggest that the person is worth doing work for. People just don't run errands for anyone unless they get something in return.

2. She has a life of her own. This means that he doesn't always have to spend every waking moment with her and that she can take care of her own personal tasks and find time to spend with her family and friends. spending too much time together and not apart can be a bad thing and lead to dependency. It is nice to know that she doesn't have to be taken care of and he has nothing to worry about. Her whole life should not be her boyfriend. She should be able to have time to herself and that also leads time for him to be alone. In other words she is not waiting for a man so she can get her real life started.

3. She is honest and doesn't lie. Many couples have an issue with trust. Men might feel overly insecure if she is always lying to them and that can lead to stalking. He might feel the need to check up on her to see if she could be trusted. Lying always leads to violence as well. It's important to be with someone who can tell the truth and be honest no matter how difficult that may be. A healthy relationships is one that is honest and open without any secrets. That doesn't neccessarily mean that he wants to know everything, but you shouldn't have to hide anything from him because that only makes it seem like a woman is uncomfortable with him.

4. She is decent. This means that she can be attractive, but not too promiscuous. Dressing in tight, revealing clothes may make some men feel uneasy about bringing their girl friends near their guy friends. No guy wants his girlfriend checkout by other men.

5. She cooks. A lot of men do not cook and food is an important thing in their life. Some men get really angry when they do not eat, as ridiculous as it sounds. They have this idea that food in their belly makes them happy. Food may make a women happy, but we certainly won't be as grumpy if we do not get to eat at the moment. Men are different, they will not budge, talk, or be in a good mood until they eat. I don't know why. Maybe this trait never went away from the old cave men days. (haha).

6. She doesn't take crap from anyone. This means that she can stand up for herself when she is treated wrongly. A women who doesn't take any crap from anyone shows that she doesn't need her man to interfere in the drama. Men always hate the drama that women entangle themselves in and so it's important to be able to handle it without involving him. Women who also stand up for themselves show that they respect themselves. People who respect themselves are always respected by others. This also means that when he is doing something wrong she puts her foot down and doesn't let him do anything he wants if anything means cheating, lieing, and flirting with other women. Men like to be shown who's boss sometimes and that makes them feel better when they also call a woman out on things she shouldn't be doing.

7. She shares her feelings and communicates effectively. This should be something that comes natural to women, but sometimes I find myself struggling with it. Men need to be told what is wrong because they can never understand our hints. It's important to just be direct with them and let them know their faults because if a women doesn't do that she is more prone to express it angrily when it builds up and it becomes too late. That means expressing everything that bothers a women, no matter how little it may be. Sometimes when we think in our head it gives a little face expression that can be offensive. Sometimes men will reply, " what is that remark on your face about." If she replies, " nothing" he may feel that bad because she doesn't feel the need to share it with him or that something he is doing is making her feel bad and it feels worse when he can't get her to tell him what it is. This then makes him feel like she shouldn't be with him because she can't even share her feelings with him.

DATING VIOLENCE

Sexual assualt..why does it happen?

*Male aggressiveness

*Male Machoness

* Alcoholism

Male aggressiveness:

Includes trying to control the relationship. Not letting the female see her family and friends by using threatening words and force. Many females in abusive relationships start to loose their friends. The females try hard to lease their boyfriend, but they are still harshly criticize about unimportant things. When they want to spend time with their friends many females may feel uneasy about it and feel that they need permission to because the male claims if she is away from him how can he keep his eye on her. Therefore, this can lead to many stalkings by the male. The male may become overtly jealous of the female talking to other males and she is only aloud to engage with conversations with females. He may feel that in order to have a good time he must be present with her. Males may become overly protrusive and restrict the females from certain activities such as swimming, attending dinners, and going to the mall. Swimming is a problem because the male may feel threatened that the female is exposing skin no matter how much the female says she loves her. Attending dinners is a problem because the male feels that the female is too nicely dressed up and other male guests will enjoy her beauty. He claims, " Who are you trying to impress; am I not good enough for you?" Going to the mall is a place where many women are eyed at by young males and is a big social unit.

Case Study: Ivana and Bruce

Ivana and Bruce met during high school and after couple dates they fell madly in love and began to talk about marriage. Ivana was proud to have Bruce as her partner, but Bruce regardless, would get moody and jealous. He voiced numerous suspicions of wheter Ivana was lying to him. Eventually he began to stalk Ivana. He would also accuse her of being insensitive to his feelings. After thinking that he was right she would be extremely careful in how she treated him. He didn't seem to be relaxed and complained that her friends had took up all her time. She grew apart with her friends. He would constantly call her several times a day just to check up on her. One day when he picked Ivana up on a date he was mad because he claimed her skirt was too tight and the she was trying to show off her body to other guys. He also forbided her to go on a vacation to Tahiti because they were going to go swimming and wearing a bathing suit only exposed her skin even more. He went ballistic when he saw the family vacation photos of her in a bikini he went ballistic tearing her photo album and shaking and screaming at her. When they went on another date he promised to adjust his behavior. The date was fine until the end of the day when they drove to the beach. He began to be violent and claimed that Ivana never loved him. Although Ivana was upset she tried to think of everything she could to calm Bruce down. But it didn't do her any good because his anger was too much. He grabbed Ivana by the throat and began to slap her and choke her. He eventually ripped of her clothes and rapped her and pushed her out of his car and left her sobbing alone at the beach.

Male Machoness: The belief that males are superior than females because they are stronger and "smarter". Women are second class citizens. They call all the shots and women should respect their authority. These males are very unfair and unreasonable and are stuck on the belief that the female is here to serve the male and when she acts up she should be put in her place. These males tend to be violent, aggressive, and ruthless and show no respect for their partner. They see women as objects and a being without a brain. Females in this relationship are focused on the idea that love conquers all and that this behavior will change over time and is only temporary.

Case study: Claudia and Roberto

Claudia met Roberto when she was in junior high school. All she wanted was a boyfriend who loved her and made her feel special. One problem they had was that they flighted like dogs and cats on everything- what movie to see, what to eat, what to do for fun, and whether to go out. But Claudia thought that it was normal because every couple fights, she presumed. As they sat in the car one night Claudia accused Roberto of flirting with an old girlfriend and Roberto slapped Claudia. Claudia slapped him back. Over time this violence got worse and once she had a black eye and couple bruises. The violence escalated over time. Roberto made Claudia give up her participation on the debate team and she eventually stopped hanging out with her friends. He claimed that her nagging was what caused so many fights, so she did her best to please him and thought that the quarrels would stop. She was wrong. Prom was quickly approaching and she was ecstatic she thought that she could finish high school and finally get married to Roberto. At prom the two had gotten into a quarrel as usual, but it only got worse when Roberto's friends had teased him because they claimed he couldn't keep his "woman in line." At this he began to feel humiliated and eventually kicked and punched Claudia over and over again. He left her in the parking lot bleeding and unconscious. When she went to the doctor it was said that she might loose vision in one of her eyes. After all that happen she was still worried that she would never see Roberto again and she thought her life would be over.

Alcoholism: Males tendency to get overly drunk and sexually assault a woman. Or the woman is completely intoxicated while the male is sober and he takes advantage of her. She is pressured to drink because she wants to please her date. These woman are often college freshmen who get drink and ken advantage of at Fraternities because there is no one to supervise them and tell them that what they are doing is wrong.

Case study: Mary and Her Frat Bash

Mary a freshman at Florida State University had been drinking tequila before attending a frat party. Her boyfriend, Daniel Oltarsh a junior, age 23, and a brother of Pi Kappa Alpha was her date. He gave her wine and left her in his room. Later he returned and forced Mary to have sex with her. Then he brang her to a Frat Bathroom and put her in a shower room where two other frat boys had raped her. She was then dumped into another hallway where a second frat house where they initialed their symbols. As news of these assaults broke out Mary begin to blame herself of the victimization. She tried to change her physical appearance so she wouldn't be recognized but, it didn't help. She couldn't cope with this stress anymore and she checked into a psychiatric clinic for depression, bulimia, and alcoholism.

Walking Apon The Streets of NY

WHY? The question that many woman seem to come across when witnesseing many of episodes of being stalked, followed, hurassed, and gawked at that MANY (not all) men do not experience. Almost every woman has witnessed one of the following that I have listed. These kinds of situations can happen anywhere and is very popular in crowded, busy places like NY. In many populated places like New York it can be extremely uncomfortable for women because of the fact that these male workers are always commenting on their looks and chasing them, stalking them, and gawking at them. It is not uncommon for these things to occur and it's often normalized. Many women grow accustom to these comments and reply back with a thank you and others expect it and ignore it. Another thing that was interesting was how women do not say anything to strangers, while men feel comfortable with addressing these women even though they don't know them. That illustrates that women are not a threat why? because the females are rarely going to harm the males they are more prone to be the mouse instead of the cat. I feel that women in a sense are trapped. If they react the same ways that these males do such as stalking, gawking, and hollering at them the males would only enjoy it. If they ignore it the problem still exists and the males see it as ok to do what they are doing. What should females do to stop this problem?

I remember being a victim of many of these episodes while walking the streets of NY. I have been stalked, harassed, and gawked at. "wow", "whiste" " heeelllo beautiful" or "oww" men as old as their 30s and late 40's would say as I passed by. What could I do except ignore these men or simply thank them...but why thank them? Thank them for looking at me as a peice of meat or object? For staring at my body in an indecent manner? Did those comments help boast my self esteem? NO. Their comments were obviously offensive. Why do they have to make these comments especially when these comments don't phase me and I don't thank them either. I don't even bother to give these men dirty looks because their not worth the energy. The second incident happened when i was on the subway. From my preferial vision I saw a man staring at me as I sat patiently on the bus. At first, ignored his stares but his stares continued to be apparent through many stops. As I stepped of the subway I ran into this man again. I saw him at the same stop as me staring at me and not going or doing anything. I saw him come on the subway I had gotten on. I decided to get off the subway as soon as I got on and he wasn't aware that I had gotten off because he had only seen me get on. The last event was the worse event yet to happen to me. As I was walking with my family I lagged behind and these men were eyeing me. One of them had gotten really close because it was so crouded that he was able to smoothly touch me and he grabbed my arm and held on to it for 5 seconds. Those five seconds were the longest, stragest, scariest seconds of my life. I was shocked I stared at him and he stared back and says "beautiful". Before I could yell out to my family he released his grip and I sprinted away. why do men do this? because they can without fear. women are seen as vulrnable, harmless, and powerless. Men are seen as the preditors and females are usually the pray. When rappings occur it happens mostly by men not woman. And when men are raped they are raped by men and thefore men are the problem. Women may hit, scream, kick, throw, scratch, bite, slap, and push but they do not rape men.

Many women have also experienced many of these assualts not only on the streets but at work . It takes them a long time to report it because they don't reaize that its happening and its not acceptable. It seems really strange for these girls not to realize that these men at the workplace don't have the authority to touch them. If they can't be handled like that with a boyfriend what makes sexual assualt okay coming from a complete stranger? Of course it felt wrong to them, but the problem is even though people knew about the incident that didn't change anything. The girls who were sexually assaulted knew it was wrong but the fact that no one spoke up when they knew what was going on only encouraged the girls to behave just as everyone else did and that is to ignore it. When people see sexual assualt they do not want to get involved. There are many cases where people see that sexual assualt is going on and do nothing about it to stop it... they just watch. Take for example the rape that occured at the UA campus at subway. People were too scared to rescue her from the rapist and the rapist was able to do some damage before she could get away. People need to react fast because the slower they respond the more harm that is resulting to these girls. These people who just watched sexual assualt happen are guilty of NOT getting involved. This victim's fate was in their hands because they could have prevented further damage if they only reported the incident as soon as they knew about it!